so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
