I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
