I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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