I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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