sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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