I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
