Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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