If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He better not be in your backpack
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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