quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize