I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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