If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
