You're my little dorito
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
