he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
