On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
