plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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