gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
