sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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