I skipped work to stalk him.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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