so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
