I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize