just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize