Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
