i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
