I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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