well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
