The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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