you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
