shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I love you. Go after that dick
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
