I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize