Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
