What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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