im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We need to rekindle our bromance
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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