So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
