Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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