I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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