Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
