great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
