In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
