i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
