I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
