yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
