I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
