the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
