why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
