I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
