Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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