thus making me awesome and them whores
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
