got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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