A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
