But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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