We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
