home. puking in laundry basket.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
