Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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