Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
