ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
