PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize