Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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